ULTRA / MIAMI MUSIC WEEK 2011 JOURNAL
by Maxiumus Jonx

Arose to another day of sunny perfection.  A cup of tea on the balcony looking at the Bay is something I could see more of in my life, word.  Met some friends for lunch at Jerry's Deli for some always delicious, yet lacking of proper service, ginormous sammies.  This is a common problem I have found with South Beach.  Most bars/restaurants/clubs will include gratuity into the check with no mention of it.  You think that drinks are way too expensive already (which they are), but then there is 15% to 20% service charge added on top.  I understand that many people, especially on vacation, and even more so if from a Country where tipping is not customary tend to neglect to take care of servers and barkeeps, but guys... please fulfill your "service" part of the bargain, or at least let me know that you have already included a tip into the $45 dollar tab for 2 Amstels and Patron! 

Ultra Music Festival
After laying out on the beach for a bit, I wound up hanging with the Steez Promo fam from Baltimore.  These dudes are responsible for some of the best parties in the Mid-Atlantic and have been spreading their DubNation events all over the Country to packed houses, showcasing the top Dubstep artists in the game.  This Saturday was the night they were bringing DubNation to Miami, and I was all in.  Before all that BASS, we had a few hours to kill... So we went to Ultra.  Cabs were ghost at 6pm in South Beach.  Each side of the street was punctuated by multiple groups of hands in the air, not for Tiesto, they were all trying to catch a yellow car for hire.  The bellhop at the Gansevoort told us that it might take 45 minutes to get one on a call!  We did not have the patience, nor luxury, for that sort of timelapse, so I put on my swagger hat and talked the driver of the Cadillac Escalade from Ft. Lauderdale into taking us the Festival!  Computer Club, Datsik, Evan, Lindsey and I piled into the truck and gave each other shit eating grins as to emphasize that this is exactly how it should be! 

I would love to say that I saw 30 of my favorite acts at Ultra and got to explore the new layout they had at Bicentennial Park, but I was kicking it back stage.  I did get to check out some of Underworld on the main, Andy C and GQ in the Tower (who actually dropped some Drumstep and Dubstep to our surprise!), Excision and then Deadmau5 from the side of the main stage.  I had the golden ticket this year.  I was a kid in Mr. Wonka's wonderful world of industry hobnobbery!  At some point between chillin with Doorly talking to Rusko about the video of a drunk girl making the terrible mistake of telling a camera phone how she would go all coprophagiac for Rusko, shooting the shit with Skrillex about the merits of vitamin B1 and sitting at the bar next to Carl Cox, that I thought "wow, I should really be taking some pictures".  Things is though, I was hanging out as a contemporary this time.  Not as the writer and owner of an online mag, but as a fellow player in the game of EDM.  Going all super fan would have surely been a faux pas.  The performances I saw were great, but it seemed like the construction on the park had left the event crammed into a smaller space then previous years.  The food was not as good either, even with the addition of $15 dollar BBQ Turkey legs.  I wanted a gyro as big as my head...

DubNation
As we left the park and entered the chaos of 50,000 people spilling onto Biscayne Blvd., we had only a few blocks to trek over to Eve (formerly White Room) for the DubNation party.  We got there just intime to catch our good friend Reid Speed wreaking shop.  When she dropped Bassment Jaxx's "Where's your head at" (I think it was the HULK rave monster remix), the growing crowd woke the fuck up and started getting BUCK!  TC came on after and kept it poppin and live, but when Doorly jumped on the decks... shit went full retard!  As he flipped it between DnB, Breaks and HEAVY Dubstep he took the time to rock out some Dubstep turntablism.  Scratching with his elbow and going behind the back, he was juggling beats into a live remix of pure awesome.  First time I have seen him live and live he was!  A slight technical difficulty as Excision was trying to switch laptops left a 6 minute window of slightly awkward deadspace from the speakers till Diesel Boy jumped in and smacked the crowd with rolling DnB beats alive with energy!  Steve "SMASH" Gordon was quick to let the crowd know that if they had only come out for Dubstep and expected a one trick pony, they should "GET THE FUCK OUT!".  I don't think anyone left.  Once the seratos had been swapped, Excision came in HARD with his signature style of duurty duurty bass.  The X's went up and the place lit up with hype that you can only find at a 4am rager!  To make shit even sicker, Downlink and Datsik joined in for what was hands down the BEST DISPLAY OF DUBSTEP MAYHEM I HAVE EVER WITNESSED!!  Word.  I was bumping so hard, I forgot how much whiskey I drank till it all caught up with me and the spins set in heavy!  I ran into Claw of Hulk, who was on his way out, and shared a cab back to South Beach with him and Messinian, then passed out fully clothed.  Props to Massinian who held shit down all night on the MIC proper.  He did a great job of hyping the crowd, but let the masters of the mix do there thing un-obstructed!  Sick night.  Big Ups to DubNation and the Steez Promo fam!  Looking forward to more from these gents.  

DAY 4:

Couch Or Boobies

If it was not for these trans-dermal vitamin B1 patches (ForgetHangovers), I would have had one to write home about Sunday.  Fortunately, those little stickers WORK, I felt great!  Kinda beat from the heavy days of marathon partying, but not in a hurt soul kind of way thankfully.  Yet, it still was an arduous task to leave the couch.  Had I partied myself out?  Well, maybe a little.  So couch I stayed upon till the evening.  The plan had been to head back downtown to Gold Rush (yes, the strip club) for Dj Craze's "Hard 2 Leave" party.  The line up was dope with Tamara Sky, Hollywood Holt, Damaged Goods, and the mighty Craze.  Plus the fact that there would be booze and boobies in the same place was enough to get me excited.  However, when the time came and I was left with the option of rolling solo, or heading to Florida room at the Delano for Felix Da HouseCat with a free table and the whole French Connection Crew... I went with clean and easy. 

The Delano
This was the second year I finished off the week at the Florida room.  Last year, after the HipsterOverkill.com party at the Delano with DJ D-Up and d.painter, we spent the morning dancing our asses off to ?uestlove, this year Felix was the man of the hour!  3 magnums of Goose, and a 4 liter of Moet and I was feeling the BALLER status up in the joint.  The music was so right and the vibe so perf, that I forgot about the strippers and Electro for if only a few hours and had a blast!  What a great way to finish the week! 

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR MIAMI!!  THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!

- MAXIMUS JONX